Have you ever felt like your biggest obstacle isn’t your horse, the weather, or even the jump in front of you… but yourself? If so, you’re not alone. I have been there…

So many riders do all the preparation….. schooling, lessons, fitness….. only to find their own inner voice derailing them when it matters most. This is self-sabotage: the sneaky ways our own thoughts and behaviours hold us back in the saddle.

The good news? Once you can spot it, you can stop it.

How Self-Sabotage Shows Up for Riders

• Negative self-talk: “I’m going to fall,” “Everyone’s better than me,” “I always mess this up.”
• Perfectionism: refusing to try unless you can guarantee it will go right.
• Avoidance: skipping lessons or competitions because you’re “not ready yet.”
• Comparison: looking at other riders and feeling you don’t measure up.
• Overthinking: analysing every stride until you freeze or micromanage your horse and yourself.
• If any of these sound familiar, know this: it’s not weakness, it’s human psychology. And it can change.

Why We Do It

Self-sabotage often roots in:

Past experiences: falls, mistakes, or even criticism

Fear of failure: avoiding situations where we might be judged.

Pressure: from ourselves, trainers, or the people watching on the rail.

Beliefs: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not brave enough,” “I can’t ride like them.”

Your mind is trying to protect you from risk but ends up blocking growth.

Practical Tools to Stop Self-Sabotage

Here are some rider-friendly ways to flip the script:

1. Notice the pattern: when do unhelpful thoughts crop up? Before mounting? At a fence? After a mistake? Awareness is the first step.

2. Reframe your inner dialogue: Swap “I always get this wrong” for “I am learning, and every ride builds me.” Swap “Everyone’s watching” for “My horse only cares about me.”

3. Breathe into the moment: Try a grounding breath before you get on, calm the nervous system or try a power pose….

4. Visualise success: Spend 2 minutes picturing yourself riding the way you want to ride. Your brain rehearses success the same way it rehearses mistakes and it loves the familiar!

5. Start small: Instead of jumping a full course when nerves are high, set a small, winnable goal: “I’ll ride a relaxed trot transition.” Small wins stack confidence. Take one fence at a time.…

6. Accountability: Share your goal with a friend, coach, or community. Saying it out loud helps you commit and they can remind you when your inner critic gets loud.

A Real Example

One rider in my 8-week confidence course told me she used to hear the same thought before every hack: “What if I fall off?” She noticed it, named it – named it “Maureen” in fact – and then deliberately called Maureen out before her ride. Within weeks, “Not now Maureen, I am going to enjoy my hack” was a big changing point. The nerves didn’t vanish completely but they no longer ruled her choices. She started hacking more often and actually enjoying it again.

That’s the power of spotting sabotage and swapping it for support.

How to Take This Further

If self-sabotage feels familiar, know this: you don’t have to fight it alone. My 8-week Rider Confidence Course is designed exactly for riders like you — giving you the tools, strategies, and community to shift your mindset and feel confident in the saddle again.

Or take a look at this real time competition example of negative self sabotage being changed…. on Youtube

What’s one self-sabotaging thought you’d like to replace this week?